Like a lot of other poker players I track my winnings and losses. Personally, I do it with a spreadsheet and graph the results. I'm sure there are multiple ways to track how you're doing, that's just the way I do it.
I've been having a rough poker year. In fact, this year is (so far) the worst year of my poker career. My results had gotten so bad that I had quit updating my spreadsheet. I knew I was way behind but didn't really want to know just how far behind. It was too depressing.
A month or so ago I stepped back and evaluated the situation and changed my game accordingly. My results have improved quite a bit.
So.........I decided this morning to update my spreadsheet and graph and see how it looks. In one word: "Depressing". The silver lining is that the last month or so looks a lot better than the overall picture. I can at least take solace in the fact that the situation is improving.
I wasn't really lying to myself by not keeping my spreadsheet updated. I knew I wasn't doing well, just didn't know exactly how bad it was. I guess you could say I was shielding myself from the gory details. Well the details have now seen the full light of day and they're ugly.
If there's a moral to all this it would be a reminder that the worst person you can lie to is yourself. Worse than lying to your wife, your best friend, or even God. Lying to yourself is the worst and it is particularly bad if a poker player is lying to himself.
My results have gotten better of late but I'm not lying to myself---my game could still use a lot of improvement and I'm working on it.
See you at the tables.